Human Brain – the biggest unsolved mystery since the beginning of time. It gives us the power to think, to feel, to analyse, to evaluate and most importantly to make decisions. Every day we are affected by our surroundings and get ourselves involved in big and small decision making processes. It’s these decisions which shape us as who we are and what we become. It connects the two ends of our lives, our origin & our final destiny, through something which in simple words can be called survival.
Survival does not differentiate between rich and poor, old and young or any other polarities that exist in this world. We all have to fight to survive every moment irrespective of anything and everything. It can be viewed as the most neutral state of being that exists and treats us all equally. But there is a common goal of that exercise – happiness. We survive in the hope of the ever elusive and eternal happiness looking for a happy ending in every aspect of our lives. We initiate things big and small in our lives with the hope of fulfilment. It’s the ultimate hope that gives us strength to survive the hardships of life. It’s the ultimate illusion that the brain creates, hanging the metaphorical carrot at the end of a stick, that keeps us moving towards the other end – the destiny. At times we get the carrot and most of the times we don’t. And somewhere between what we get and what we don’t, we reach our final destiny that no one can escape. So before the show ends, we win some and we lose some. And as beautifully summed up by one of the most influential rock icon/poet of our times, Late. Chester Bennington – ‘In the end, it doesn’t even matter’.
But Mr. Bennington died of a suspected drug overdose resulting from acute and chronic depression. So no matter how much we love and revere his music, our rational mind does not want an ending like that. We want to matter, no matter what. So the question is how? I feel the answer to that lies in a very simple but powerful word – ‘Closure’
Our final destiny is the sum of all destinies big and small that we go on collecting and accepting during the course of the survival process. We tend to judge these destinies by their endings, which are either happy/sad or successful/unsuccessful. But there can be a third option – peaceful; the beauty of which is that it does not come attached with any other polar opposite option. And most importantly that option is always there to be taken, but it needs to be found in our inner selves. Let’s take an example, and the most universal one at that – An unsuccessful romantic relation.
Love in today’s time comes with a lot of expectations and conditionality attached to it. And sometimes we tend to ignore the fact that these two things are precisely the exact opposite of everything the concept of love stands for. From the beginning of any relationship we start working towards a preempted perfect ending with known and unknown expectations set in place starting from small things like, who is expected to make the first move, to relatively bigger things like when the big question will be popped, veering again to smaller stuff like, will there be a ring and one knee involved in the process, to make it worthy of our like-hungry timelines of social media. It’s a vicious circle. Expectations never end; but in the process love inevitably does. And when it does, we tend to blindly find justification rather than going into much needed introspection. We tend to look for a closure that can never come from finding justifications of why’s and how’s of things which didn’t work out. It’s only when we can embrace the divine beauty of unconditionality of the most magical feeling called love, we can let things go, and maybe get the much required and at times much deserved closure in the process. And ultimately the time comes when we are able to utter the two most magically liberating words in our mind to our consciousness and mean it for good – ‘F*ck It’. No matter how crude and nonchalant it may sound, no other words in the decorated history of English language can sum up closure like these two simple words does.
Human mind is inherently programmed to connect the dots. And when dots remain unconnected or is in need to be re-connected, it falters by nature. A simple calculator comes up with an error when supplied with illogical inputs. But the most powerful supercomputer created by god, the human mind, falters when furnished with insufficient data. Or to put in perspective, faces the challenge of adapting to the imminent changes that life throws in front of it. It tends to find rationale in irrationality and order in orchestrated chaos. It is one supercomputer whose operating system is resistant to incremental upgrades. For example, when Galileo proved that the earth is round and it revolves around sun, dislodging the age old belief of flat earth, the situations were nothing short of a civil war in the modern society.And it was due to the simple fact that the dots that were connected wrongly was in dire need to be reconnected. And people were not cool with that. Resistance to change is in human nature and mind, and it is the deep rooted cause of our problems in finding closure and accepting our unfulfilled destinies.
Life has been often described to be magical by poets, philosophers and wise men of our time and beyond. Brought into mainstream by visionary film-maker Christopher Nolan in his not so mainstream cult classic ‘The Prestige’ is the following postulate. Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called “The Pledge”. The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. He asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course, it probably isn’t. The second act is called “The Turn”. The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it into something extraordinary. Now you’re looking for the secret; but you won’t find it, because of course you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn’t clap yet. Because making something disappear isn’t enough; you have to bring it back. That’s why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part called “The Prestige”, where things just falls into place out of ordinary resulting in the wonder unmatched by anything ordinary, followed by a bow from the magician and applause from the bedazzled audience. So let’s try to upgrade our operating system of our mind for ‘The Prestige’ that the ‘Magic’ called life deserves. So when we make our final bow to our audience, we can have more peaceful closures on our account than unfulfilled and incomplete destinies. To start a better life, all we need to do is to let our upgraded minds be our free guide.